Tajikistan: Young Tajiks Confront Old Traditions

Despite the growing presence of cell phones, tight jeans, pin heels and western reality television shows in Tajikistan, many young Tajiks remain in thrall to traditional ways of courtship.

Television in the northern city of Khujand bombards young Tajiks with a wide variety of foreign fare, ranging from the decidedly off-color humor of the animated series South Park, dubbed into Russian, to a Saudi Arabian channel devoted to non-stop coverage of pilgrims visiting Mecca. There is also ZeeTV, which features a heavy dose of Bollywood escapism. In short, there is easy access to an alternative reality from what Tajik youths are used to. Yet, while these outside influences have caused some to question their parents' ways, so far, there are no signs that an open rebellion is imminent.

Mohira, a single 20 year-old university student clad in jeans and high-heeled boots, calls Shahrukh Khan -- the Indian Muslim film star -- her "honey" and readily confesses to being transported by the stories of romance that are central to most of his movies. Farrukh, a 28-year-old devout Muslim and new father disagrees. Shaking his head, he dismisses them as "nothing but stories of love," and complains that the film actors do no more than "dance, dance, dance." The debate over Shahrukh Khan is a proxy for a much deeper division. For generations, arranged marriages and a segregation of sexes have been the norm in Khujand; modern notions of romance and dating are now challenging the old traditions.

The tension between familial approval and the pursuit of romance has always existed, but new technologies provide young adults with opportunities that were not available to their parents. Another university student said that a recently married classmate spends most of his time at school whispering into his cell phone. "I asked him, 'Who do you talk to everyday like that?' and he told me it was his girlfriend. He can't talk to her when he's at home,'" she said.

Cell phones have become widely available only within the last few years, but they already play a role in both initiating and perpetuating covert liaisons. Many women report receiving phone calls from unknown males -- who dial at random until a female voice answers -- attempting to start a relationship with them. Dating is not common and it is rare to see young unmarried couples strolling arm in arm down the streets of Khujand.

Shoira, a recently married 26-year old woman, summarizes the situation: "My parents didn't even allow me to be in a mixed group of girls and boys, let alone date." Without the freedom to be seen in each others' company, the cell phone has become a behind-the-scenes mode of communication between the sexes. Despite the prevalence of cell phones, traditional ways remain predominant -- at least publicly.

The pressure to marry early is pervasive in Tajikistan with roughly half of the female population married by age of 20, according to government statistics. Parents of both the prospective bride and groom play an active role in the matchmaking, and the betrothed are often childhood friends or even first cousins. Important to most parents is the preservation of family wealth and entry into a known good family. Marrying outside the circle is deemed risky.

Some parents report that they are better equipped to make the marriage decision than their inexperienced children. "I didn't know who I should marry at her age, so why would she?" said Mohira's mother. It is also simply a matter of perpetuating a familiar system. "My parents chose who I married, so now it's my turn to make that decision for my daughter," she explained. She too enjoys Shahrukh's films, but dismisses them as "fantasy."

Colette Harris, senior lecturer at the University of East Anglia and author of Muslim Youth: Tensions and Transitions in Tajikistan, told EurasiaNet that "the greatest cause of tension between young people and their parents is around rights of decision making." In particular, control over choice of marital partners is of paramount concern. "One of the most shaming things a young person can do in many Tajik families is to choose his or her own marriage partner," added Harris.

Despite lacking much control over their choice of spouse, young men and women are still often eager to marry. Mohira confessed: "I'm excited for my wedding even though I don't know who I will be with." Even among men, there is a palpable anxiety when it comes to the topic of marriage. Farrukh was married relatively late -- at 27 -- and articulated the concern it caused with his family: "My parents would tell me I was getting too old to start a family of my own, and I realized that they were right."

There is general agreement among young and old on the importance of marriage: nearly everyone desires the elevated social status it confers. And even while access to cell phones and the passionate tales of Shahrukh Khan tease the younger generation with the prospects of what might be, in the end there is often tacit acceptance of the old ways.

Harris observed that "the only successful rebellions I saw were carried out by young people who spent most of their time in the Russian Federation, and were independent financially and socially." What is clear, however, is that the seeds of rebellion have been sown and are slowly beginning to take root.